Wednesday, 20 May 2015

THE HYPOCRISY OF SOME GHANAIANS – HATING RACISM BUT PRACTISING TRIBALISM

There is one aspect about life which is having effect on the Ghanaian populace but everyone seems to be silent on it. In this piece, I will love to address the issue of tribalism but in the relationship or marriage perspective. It might seem insignificant but bad relationship or marriage has effect on the economy and if not dealt with, we might end up building a generation of people who do not have love in them. So many a times in this part of the world, family contribution or opinion is key in the process of marriage to the extent that parents or family members can deny their son or daughter the right and privilege to marry someone they have loved over a long period of time.
One basis on which most of the denial is centred on is the tribal root of the person. For instance, the family of Yaa Asantewaa could deny her marriage to Nii Kpakpo because Nii is from the Ga tribe without considering their personal feeling, the love they share or how long they've known each other. This menace have brought a lot of confusion to families such as parents denouncing their children, parents not showing up at their ward’s wedding, breaking a relationship that took so many years to be built and so on.
Several reasons are given especially by parents for their refusal of certain marriages or relationships. Some of which are; people from the tribe they do not like have certain character traits, someone from that tribe have wronged them in a way and other excuses. Some parents also claim that they've stayed in the particular area or worked in the same office with people from where your spouse hails and do not like their attitude, thus will not agree to a marriage relating someone from there.
Such comments finds its way down the heart of many young ones who in their quest or journey in life about relationship or marriage try to avoid some persons from the tribe their parents seem to hate. It happens even at the cooperate level where owners of some companies refuse to employ people of certain tribes just because of the mentality.
Funny enough, there have been several divorces, quarrels and bad relationship as a result of such mentality which is having a negative effect on our beloved country such that if it is not addressed in a proper way, the consequences will be nothing good to write home about.
From the reality point of view, approximately 70% of one’s attitude or character results from the society he or she grew up or stayed over a long period of time, thus tribal character traits does not constitute a greater percentage of how someone acts. From a typical Ghanaian perspective, people from a particular tribe act in a certain way so as soon as your identity is revealed, many people around begins to perceive that you are of a certain character which from a factual ground has less truth. Yes one might act in a certain way that depicts where he or she comes from but more of that person’s actions or reactions depend on where he or she was brought up. Even in that case, it’s a bit relative because some people stay in an area but act differently from how may be a typical person from that area will act so one might conclude that it’s a matter of the mindset. For instance Nii Kpakpo is Ga man but might not in any way act like a Ga man because he stayed Kumasi thus greater part of his attitude will show traits of someone who lived in Kumasi or the kind of home he was brought up in. So in what capacity should someone judge that if Nii Kpakpo gets married to Yaa Asantewaa, he will do something that is common with Ga men?
One typical example I hear people say is if a non-Ewe lady marries an Ewe man, no matter how long the marriage lasts, the man will go and marry another lady from his home town or a lady who is also an Ewe thus some parents refrain their daughters from marrying Ewe men. Others say if you marry an Asante lady, she will be arrogant and also demand you to serve her an ‘elephant head’ as dinner when you actually do not have because may be the uncle is a rich man. It sounds funny but this is happening in almost every home in Ghana. Dissecting the above example, I have seen several Ewe men who marry ladies from another tribe but do not go out to marry another because the second lady is from his tribe likewise I have seen Ashanti women who are not arrogant to their husbands.
So many a times I ask myself where these mentalities emanate from or was it something that used to happen often among the earlier generations.
From the religious point of view, many people who claim to be religious but still hold these beliefs are lying to themselves. I will relate this to Christianity and Islam because they are the two most common religions in Ghana. Christians and Muslims believe that most occurrences including marriage comes from God thus the one you marry is given by God. This refusal of marriage and relationships based on tribal grounds occur mostly in the religious homes. And am not sure God created tribes like we see in today’s world so in what capacity should worshippers of that God be discriminatory since they believe everything that happens is God’s decision? If God is the giver of everything including marriage, then I don't think its appropriate to reject someone on tribal grounds.
Notwithstanding, there is a saying in Ghana that, we do not marry people but family which means family of both spouse have their ‘nose’ peeping into the marriage affairs every now and then. That’s where our parents have their strong hold because they claim that definitely, an issue will come up in the marriage that needs both families’ presence to solve it so in the situation where both families or tribes don’t like each other, how will that particular issue be resolved.

This issue is a bit sceptical but I am personally against this tribal doctrine that keeps breaking God given and strong relationships and marriages, thus all of us must endeavour to change because everyone is a victim. Am not sure anyone will be happy if he or she or a family member is denied what he or she truly loves.
But shockingly, many of the people who engage in this form of tribalism do not hesitate to receive an offer, a gift or assistance from persons of these tribes they clam to hate.
Its another reality from my medulla oblogata so please do not hesitate to write down your sincere comments or contributions.
Thank you for reading!

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