There is
one aspect about life which is having effect on the Ghanaian populace but
everyone seems to be silent on it. In this piece, I will love to address the
issue of tribalism but in the relationship or marriage perspective. It might
seem insignificant but bad relationship or marriage has effect on the economy
and if not dealt with, we might end up building a generation of people who do
not have love in them. So many a times in this part of the world, family
contribution or opinion is key in the process of marriage to the extent that
parents or family members can deny their son or daughter the right and
privilege to marry someone they have loved over a long period of time.
One basis
on which most of the denial is centred on is the tribal root of the person.
For instance, the family of Yaa Asantewaa could deny her marriage to Nii Kpakpo
because Nii is from the Ga tribe without considering their personal feeling,
the love they share or how long they've known each other. This menace have
brought a lot of confusion to families such as parents denouncing their
children, parents not showing up at their ward’s wedding, breaking a
relationship that took so many years to be built and so on.
Several
reasons are given especially by parents for their refusal of certain marriages
or relationships. Some of which are; people from the tribe they do not like
have certain character traits, someone from that tribe have wronged them in a
way and other excuses. Some parents also claim that they've stayed in the
particular area or worked in the same office with people from where your spouse
hails and do not like their attitude, thus will not agree to a marriage
relating someone from there.
Such
comments finds its way down the heart of many young ones who in their quest or
journey in life about relationship or marriage try to avoid some persons from
the tribe their parents seem to hate. It happens even at the cooperate level
where owners of some companies refuse to employ people of certain tribes just
because of the mentality.
Funny
enough, there have been several divorces, quarrels and bad relationship as a
result of such mentality which is having a negative effect on our beloved
country such that if it is not addressed in a proper way, the consequences will
be nothing good to write home about.
From the
reality point of view, approximately 70% of one’s attitude or character results
from the society he or she grew up or stayed over a long period of time, thus
tribal character traits does not constitute a greater percentage of how someone
acts. From a typical Ghanaian perspective, people from a particular tribe act
in a certain way so as soon as your identity is revealed, many people around
begins to perceive that you are of a certain character which from a factual
ground has less truth. Yes one might act in a certain way that depicts where he
or she comes from but more of that person’s actions or reactions depend on
where he or she was brought up. Even in that case, it’s a bit relative because
some people stay in an area but act differently from how may be a typical
person from that area will act so one might conclude that it’s a matter of the
mindset. For instance Nii Kpakpo is Ga man but might not in any way act like a
Ga man because he stayed Kumasi thus greater part of his attitude will show
traits of someone who lived in Kumasi or the kind of home he was brought up in.
So in what capacity should someone judge that if Nii Kpakpo gets married to Yaa
Asantewaa, he will do something that is common with Ga men?
One typical
example I hear people say is if a non-Ewe lady marries an Ewe man, no matter
how long the marriage lasts, the man will go and marry another lady from his
home town or a lady who is also an Ewe thus some parents refrain their daughters
from marrying Ewe men. Others say if you marry an Asante lady, she will be
arrogant and also demand you to serve her an ‘elephant head’ as dinner when you
actually do not have because may be the uncle is a rich man. It sounds funny
but this is happening in almost every home in Ghana. Dissecting the above
example, I have seen several Ewe men who marry ladies from another tribe but do
not go out to marry another because the second lady is from his tribe likewise
I have seen Ashanti women who are not arrogant to their husbands.
So many a
times I ask myself where these mentalities emanate from or was it something that
used to happen often among the earlier generations.
From the
religious point of view, many people who claim to be religious but still hold
these beliefs are lying to themselves. I will relate this to Christianity and
Islam because they are the two most common religions in Ghana. Christians and
Muslims believe that most occurrences including marriage comes from God thus the
one you marry is given by God. This refusal of marriage and relationships based
on tribal grounds occur mostly in the religious homes. And am not sure God
created tribes like we see in today’s world so in what capacity should
worshippers of that God be discriminatory since they believe everything that
happens is God’s decision? If God is the giver of everything including marriage, then I don't think its appropriate to reject someone on tribal grounds.
Notwithstanding,
there is a saying in Ghana that, we do not marry people but family which means
family of both spouse have their ‘nose’ peeping into the marriage affairs every
now and then. That’s where our parents have their strong hold because they
claim that definitely, an issue will come up in the marriage that needs both
families’ presence to solve it so in the situation where both families or
tribes don’t like each other, how will that particular issue be resolved.
This issue
is a bit sceptical but I am personally against this tribal doctrine that keeps
breaking God given and strong relationships and marriages, thus all of us must
endeavour to change because everyone is a victim. Am not sure anyone will be
happy if he or she or a family member is denied what he or she truly loves.
But shockingly, many of the people who engage in this form of tribalism do not hesitate to receive an offer, a gift or assistance from persons of these tribes they clam to hate.
Its another reality from my medulla oblogata so please do not hesitate to write down your sincere comments or contributions.
Thank you for reading!